Well, if I were just to write out how I feel, Id say there was a pit thats inside of me. It feels empty right now. I have the family...MY family but...
I miss things. I miss friends. I miss feeling like people cared. I have friends at work but most times, it seems superficial. That may just be my insecurities though. I keep trying to make it feel deep and meaningful. I have old buddies but I know theyre basically not that great for me to be around so I try to limit things there...although its hard when Im craving companionship. I want someone to talk to. Im at a new place in my life and I would really like someone to support me but it seems that all I have is myself. I cant complain too much or Corri and Norm start to worry. I dont want that at all.
The kids are all fantastic. Caitlyn just started back to school and is doing cheerleading too. Shes so cute and Im proud of her. Her personality is so unique and I think shes just a great kid. I feel lucky to be blessed enough to have her in my life. Shes growing up so fast; I cant believe that shes gonna be 7 on her next birthday. She started 1st grade this past week!
Eamon is ok although I havent been able to see him since July. That leaves an ache that I cant really describe. Sam hasnt really been keeping him from me on purpose but both of our lives just seem to get in the way of him coming for a while. I hope that changes soon. He has a visit tentatively scheduled starting the weekend of the 21st of this month. I cant wait to spend some time with him.
EJ is fantastic and adorable. Hes a (mostly) good and agreeable baby. He has the goofiest hair and he looks like a mini Corri. He knows how to make me smile, thats for sure! I cant believe hes 3 months old already.
Life is hard but I keep going for these guys.